My name's... I Don't Cuss.

We have each child involved in our Kids Clubs create what we call a Life Card.  The Life Card consists of seven character qualities that the child sees in them self or would like to see in them self.

We have a six-year-old at Willow Pond who comes to the Kids Club every day to work on his homework.  At the door, before he signs in, he recites his Life Card:

"Hi, my name is...  I don't cuss.  I respect other people's property.  I don't hit people.  I want to be a good person..."

This child has memorized his qualities faster than any other kid in the Willow Pond Kids Club.  When he makes a mistake, we go to his Life Card to remind him of the type person who he is.  He is beginning to believe about himself the things he wrote down.

Recently, this kid's father and grandmother commented about the change that they have seen in him at home and at school.  With great gratitude they thanked us for all that we are doing for him.  And, we thank God for the change He is bringing about in our friend's life.

-- Rickey Fanning

Get a Hold of Yourself!

On a recent Friday, the kids were more rambunctious than usual during our weekly Kids Club meeting.  One thing we are teaching at Kids Club is to show respect when other people are talking by being quiet.

When the children are not quiet, we simply stop the meeting.  We communicate that this is not our time, but their time, and we are happy to spend the afternoon sitting quietly if that is how they want to spend it.  Even if we have to wait until Kids Club closes.

This particular Friday, getting the kids to be quiet was challenging.  We were already ten minutes in to waiting for quiet to come when one of the loudest boys looked at me and said, "Come on already!"

I asked him to go in the bathroom, look in the mirror, and ask the reflection of himself to "Come on already!"

A few minutes later, I heard a loud voice coming from the bathroom.

"Come on! Get a hold of yourself!"

When he came back in, I was trying to hold back my laughter.  I asked him if everything was alright and if he was ready to continue.  He said yes, sat down and the meeting continued.

I love these kids!  Never a dull moment...

-- Rickey Fanning

Breaking the Cycle

Every month I have a "Bar-B-Q Weekend" with some of the boys from Willow Pond.    It has been neat to watch these boys become givers and not takers.  To start the weekend, the boys come with us to our monthly feed the homeless Bar-B-Q to help set up and serve the homeless.  After the Bar-B-Q, they come to my house for a sleepover.  We hang out, play games, and eat pizza.  Recently, when we were all sitting around the table eating pizza, we started a conversation about our fathers.  Most of the guys were contributing stories, and a common thread was absentee dads.  As we went around the table each boy shared his story.  Then, I shared my own story about my father.

I told them that I also had an absentee father.  The boys were really surprised and their responses made clear that they had assumed a lot about me.  After the conversation, I asked them a question.

"Do you know that you don't have to be like your father?"

One of the boys looked up and said, "Yeah, if we are not like our fathers then our children won't have to go through what we've been through."

I responded, "You can make your own choices now to break the cycle, and when your children grow up you can be there for them."

-- Rickey Fanning

Queen Esther

Believe it or not, even Dallas, Texas can get snowed-in.  And when it snows in Dallas, we aren't really sure what to do. 

Due to the snow, we decided to cancel our regular Kids Club at Willow Pond.  I was talking to Rickey on the phone about closing the Kids Club when I started getting phone calls from a number I didn't recognize.  I ignored the calls.  Rickey let me know the phone calls were from a girl in our Kids Club who thought she could talk me in to opening up for the day.  She had already tried (and failed) to talk Rickey in to doing so.

I decided to text her back and let her know why we were not open.  When she responded, I noticed the signature at the bottom of her text, which included her nick name: "Gutter Girl."  My heart was broken.

This girl is a true work in progress and someone I love dearly.  We have been talking about the story of Queen Esther from the Bible with her: the type of woman Queen Esther was, and how we as women are called to be who God created us to be.  My friend wanted to know more about Queen Esther, so she started to read the story on her own.  We encouraged her in this, praying that she would see herself as the precious child of God that we see, and eventually nicknamed her Queen Esther!

After a few texts back and forth with my friend, I wrote, "Do me a favor and change "Gutter Girl" to "Queen Esther."

She responded, "That's what Mr. Rickey is telling me to do."

I responded, "Those that love you tell you the truth. The truth came from two different people at two different times. I had no idea that Mr. Rickey told you to change it.  If my son had "Gutter Boy" at the end of his texts, it would break my heart. He is my Prince, not a child from the gutter."

After about 30 minutes, she wrote, "Ooookay." But, she had simply changed the signature to include a new nickname: "Gutter Person."

I immediately responded, "So you will change it? Now? Send me a text after you change it, okay?"

About twenty minutes later, she responded with: "qUEen EstHEr."

I'll take that!

-- Jayda Ekundayo

Living in the Present

Be encouraged by this excerpt from Henry Nouwen:

"Listening to the voice of love requires that we direct our minds and hearts toward that voice with all our attention.  How can we do that?  The most fruitful way - in my experience - is to take a simple prayer, a sentence or a word, and slowly repeat it.  We can use the Lord's prayer, the Jesus prayer, the name of Jesus, or any word that reminds us of God's love and put it in the center of our inner room, like a candle in a dark space.

Obviously we will be constantly distracted.  We will think about what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow.  We will have long, imaginary discussions with our friends or enemies.  We will plan our next day, prepare our upcoming talk, or organize our next meeting.  Still, as long as we keep the candle in our dark room burning, we can return to that light and see clearly the presence of the One who offers us what we most desire.

This is not always a satisfying experience.  Often we are so restless and so unable to find inner quietude that we can't wait to get busy again, thus avoiding the confrontation with the chaotic state of our minds and hearts.  Still, when we remain faithful to our discipline, even if it is only ten minutes a day, we gradually come to see - by the candlelight of our prayers - that there is a space within us where God dwells and where we are invited to dwell with God.  Once we come to know that inner, holy place, a place more beautiful and precious than any place we can travel to, we want to be there and be spiritually fed."

This is our prayer for ourselves and everyone we meet.

-- Behind Every Door Ministries